"Most people spend most of their life earning a living rather than designing their life."
This was the provoking & yet intriguing phrase which confronted me when I first came to know about the popular 'Money & You (M&Y) Seminar' during the early nineties.
I was then attending a one-day seminar called 'The Nuts & Bolts of Management' conducted by D C Cordova, an American businesswoman of Chilean origins.
At the seminar, among a few other very interesting stuff, I had learned about the great work of R Buckminster Fuller & quality guru Edwards Deming.
I had also watched the video based on the classic, 'Paradigms: Discovering the Future', by corporate strategist/futurist Joel Arthur Barker.
I couldn't get out of my curiosity streak since then. So, together with two other like-minded Singaporeans, I actually flew to Adelaide, Australia, to attend the 3-1/2 day 'M&Y Seminar'.
The seminar was a real eye-opener for me.
It wasn't a conventional seminar. Of course, there were the usual short lectures in short staccato bursts with colourful flip-charts, interspersed by interactive exercises, discovery games, group dynamics & other fun stuff, followed by debriefing & note-making.
I reckon the most memorable games, at least for me, were the Ring Toss, the Barnyard, & the highly controversial Blocks Game. I will probably write about them in a separate post.
The room environment was kept rather cold for comfort, thermostatically controlled at 19-20 degrees C throughout, with soothing background music. Pachelbel Canon in D was seemingly the principal music anchor.
The accelerated learning methodology as conceived originally by Bulgarian psychologist Georgi Lozanov during the fifties/sixties permeated the entire seminar curriculum.
The classroom environment was specifically designed to fully engage all the participants' sensory impressions, while having both hemispheres of their brains activated & stimulated in a fun & joyful way.
Key concepts via key words only, with the accompanying 'key' iconographic, were often imprinted in participants' minds via strategically-placed completed flip-charts on walls in the class room.
To every one's dismay, only plain water, fresh fruits &/or fresh juices were served during the breaks. The walls of the room were splashed with short & brisk reinforcing messages.
For me, & in retrospect, it was more of a roller-coaster ride, with never-ending energetic blasts of kaleidoscopic bombardment with audio-visual-tactile-kinesthetic experiences involving the deliberate manipulation of intellectual & emotional responses from all the participants, beautifully choreographed by the instructor, supported by a well-coordinated logistics team.
I remember vividly that the instructor for the seminar was Wayne Morgan, a tough-talking middle-aged American guy from mainland USA.
Judging from his odd behavioural disposition during incessant interactions with the class over 3-1-2/ days, I could sense that he had continued to hold a troubling emotional past, which I had later learned that it formed the prerequisite for all M&Y seminar instructors.
To them, that was "hits by Mack trucks" in M&Y lingo, or in layman terms, "learning experiences".
Notwithstanding that particular observation, I had picked up quite a good number of practical stuff, intellectually as well as experientially, from the seminar.
Also, the "business success model" as conceived by the original founders (Marshall Thurber is reportedly one of them) of the 'M&Y Seminar' is still a valid & sound one. I have in fact mentioned it briefly in one of my earlier posts, & I will probably talk about it again in a separate post.
In addition to understanding the fascinating concepts of "precession", "synergy", as well as the significance of the "Trim Tab Factor", as defined by R Buckminster Fuller (which I will endeavour to elaborate & share in separate posts), here's a quick snapshot of pragmatic take-away insights from the seminar, based on my total recall, sketchy notes, & personal interpretations:
- "take 100% personal responsibility for all your own performance results in life";
[In a nut shell, we have to take charge of our own lives; we are personally accountable for our performance outcomes; we are truly responsible for our executed actions & subsequent consequences, & own everything that takes place or shape in our work & in our lives.]
- "don't whine; don't justify; & don't lay blame";
[The reality of this axiom was that, the day I had stopped making justifications or excuses was the day I had actually started to see dramatic changes in my life.
By the way, how about this reality? If you point your finger at someone else, three fingers always point back at you!]
- "for things to change, first I must change";
[I reckon this was obviously influenced by the great Indian leader, Gandhi, "you must be the change you want to see in the world";
In reality, & also interestingly, change will happen with or without our personal inputs; so, we might as well exercise our power to choose the extent of change we wish to embrace; & to choose how we allow change to affect us.
That's to say, in order for things to change in our environment, & also to deal with a constantly, rapidly changing world out there, we got to be the change master.]
- "those who don't change with the times find themselves left behind";
[There is nothing permanent, except change. Change or be history. Actually, with the wisdom of hindsight, I find that change is good - it keeps us fresh-minded & young at heart, & also more focused on finding new ways to see & do things differently today & tomorrow, thus keeping ourselves in tune or ahead of what's happening around us all the time;]
- don't fight the forces of change; use them;
[This is essentially based on the earlier work of futurists Alvin Toffler & John Naisbitt, & also of business strategist/futurist Frank Feather, to some extent.
To ride on the forces of change, from the standpoint of using & maximising change as a window of opportunity, I suggest reading 'The Innovation Formula', by Michel Robert. It offers brilliant execution strategies.]
- "the only failure in life is the failure to participate fully in your own life";
[What we are personally responsible for is our full participation in the change process. After all, change is inevitable, but growth is optional. Growth is essentially a personal choice. We therefore can participate by the personal choices we make in our lives, & in consideration of the kind of world they serve to create in our living spaces.
Interestingly, I have come to realise that success achievements in life always come from playing full-tilt, holding ourselves to higher standards of performance, & doing what most invariably don't.]
- "removal of past mental &/or emotional blocks - through our subconscious negative programing - is the first step to personal success";
[As one success guru once said: "We are born to win; but conditioned to fail!";
Interestingly, the subconscious negative conditioning or programming can come from our parents, our teachers/guardians, our bosses, our colleagues, our friends, & sad to say, even our society in general & the government in particular, especially through the mass media.
I know, most readers will definitely agree with me that the single most powerful mental &/or emotional block is the fear of change.]
- "clarity is power";
[In a nut shell, when we have clarity in our thoughts, we know precisely what matters. When we know precisely what matters, we know where to place our focus, energy & resources.
Getting clear in our minds & then staying that way takes diligent effort as well as personal courage.]
- "if it's possible in the world, then it's possible for me; it's only a question of strategy";
[I have learned over the years, in whatever we do, strategy dictates our success or failure. With the right strategy, everything in life as well as in business is possible.
To me, the '7 Habits' from Stephen Covey is one good strategy to embrace in life pursuits.
Another good example is the 'Million Dollar Habits' from Robert Ringer.
To turbocharge your creative thinking, the 'Six Thinking Hats' from Edward de bono is definitely a good bet.
In business as well as personal success, 'The Strategy of the Dolphin' from Dudley Lynch of Brain Technologies fame is worth exploring, too.
- "if you fail to plan your life, you will automatically plan to fail in your life";
[That's goal setting, plain & simple. In corporate lingo, its strategic visioning. Visions & goals give us a focus, & more importantly, a purpose, in life.
As success guru Anthony Robbins loves to put it: "One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular."
- "it won't just happen for you, you will have to work at it, but it will be worth it;
[Remember, life is a do-it-yourself project! It's what you make the best of it at the end of it.]
- "it's not always the answers you get, but the journey of questions which will expand your mental horizons";
[Success guru Anthony Robbins once said:
“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, & as a result, they get better answers.”
Also, he loves to say that thinking is really just a series of questions & answers we pose to ourselves. We are constantly asking & answering, asking & answering, asking & answering.
Now, if we believe that we're constantly asking & answering questions, here's the reality to confront:
"What kind of questions are we asking ourselves?"]
- "scarcity exists only in our minds; there is an ocean of abundance out there";
[Especially, considering what we can do with the aid of knowledge & experiences gained to date & the ready availability of plus the modern advances of today's technology, & also the power of synergy or shared minds;]
- "education is the highest form of leverage";
[I fully concur, & I would even qualify, it's self-directed, life-long learning, using the low or no-cost auspices of street, automobile & invisible university curriculum.]
- "if you are not leveraging, you are working too hard";
[It's essentially doing more with less. Leveraging can come in many forms - through people, systems, processes, technology, etc. The 80:20 Rule is an excellent example in personal productivity. The Internet is a god-send, especially with webcasts &/or podcasts. So, is social networking on the net. In business, outsourcing, strategic alliances or project consortiums, & licensing are some great examples.]
- "personal integrity is the essence of everything";
[Come to think of it, all the global problems we see them happening today boil down to the lack of personal integrity, which often drives people in power to more greed & selfishness.]
- "Ego is the biggest learning disability";
[I find that the ego can always get in the way of our learning & growing, because it is predicated on our desire of wanting to be right all the time, & our fear for making mistakes in the presence of peers, which often can blindside us for seeing other possibilities &/or exploring new ideas.
Come to think of it, an over-inflated ego can also unwittingly accentuates our self-denial, which if left unchecked, often prolongs our personal struggle to lead better lives unnecessarily;]
- "wealth is the total number of days one can survive if one stops working tomorrow, while maintaining one's current lifestyle";
- "money is only a tool to quantify & facilitate the exchange of products & services; we can choose how to earn it as well as how to spend it";
[I like the way Robert Kiyosaki once puts it:
"Money is only an idea; if you want to have more money in your hands, change your thinking."
Putting it in perspective: Thoughts lead to feelings, which lead to actions, which lead to results, & hence the key to attaining great wealth begins with thinking - like rich people do. New ways of thinking & acting will then lead to new & different results.]
- "there is no failure; only feedback";
[This is one of key presuppositions in NLP training.
Nonetheless, R Buckminster Fuller had once put it beautifully:
"There are no failed experiments; only unexpected results."
The point here is this: We shouldn't be afraid to fail. We should go out there & experiment & learn & fail, & get a rate based on the experiences we have. We should go for it, & when we go for it, we'll learn what we're capable of, what our potential is, where the opportunities are, but we can't be afraid to fail because that's when we learn.]
- "thinking is the hardest of all work, that's why very few people engaged in it";
[This came from the great industrialist Henry Ford, & he was absolutely right.
That's why we got to spend more time thinking first, before executing any actions, especially thinking about our thinking. A bias for action is excellent, but thinking must always comes first.
Likewise, in business, strategic thinking must supersede strategic planning.
Come to think of it, a major stimulant to thinking is focused questions. A well-worded question that often penetrates the heart of the matter & triggers new insights.
Philosopher James Allen once suggested asking yourself these four questions:
Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?]
- "always think & act win-win";
[This came from Stephen Covey's '7 Habits'. It's a frame of mind that constantly seeks mutually satisfying benefit in all human interactions.
For me, it's simply collaboration, which I define as a purposeful, meaningful & productive relationship between 2 or more parties, is the key to personal as well as professional success in today's business landscape.]
- "your life experiences form your biggest asset";
[For me, the most important thing is knowing & learning about myself, my strengths & capabilities, trusting my own instincts, following my bliss, with the foundation of my personal convictions, & using every aspect of my life experiences as an opportunity to learn & grow;]
- "the most powerful force you have is what you say to yourself on a daily basis";
[Words are really powerful, so be mindful of what you often tell yourself. More realistically, be aware of what you are thinking about. They always start with thoughts in the first place.
It has been proven that the words or phrases we think & speak affect our lives, the world & everything around us.
Guru Deepak Chopra often relates that about 50,000 thoughts go through our minds on a daily basis; & 95% of them are often repeated.
Remember also, I often say, not to use phrases like "I try . . ." &/or "I hope to . . ." in your daily vocabulary - replace them immediately with the empowering phrase "I plan to . . ."
I can't remember who said this:
"It's not the world outside you that dictates your circumstances or conditions; it's the world inside you that creates the circumstances or conditions of your life."]
- "more than 85% of a system's problems are always man-made; so change the system if it doesn't work, but don't try to change the people";
[This came from the work of quality guru Edwards Deming.
It's actually, change the environment & leave the people alone.
I have always remembered this great advice from Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computers:
"You can't mandate productivity; you can only create a conducive environment where people can excel."
I reckon R Buckminster Fuller had put it more succinctly for us:
"It's not for me to change you. The question is 'how can I be of service to you without diminishing your degrees of freedom'."]
- "listen to the taps on your shoulder";
[For me, this is trusting my personal instincts - there are always right the first time, from my own personal experiences. I certainly share the belief with R Buckminster Fuller that the 'Great Spirit' is always watching us, & talking to us too from time to time.
We just have to put ourselves in a more relaxed & resourceful state, so that we are better able to see the signs & synchronicities, so to speak.
Sometimes, a "tap on the shoulder" can be a gentle reminder to us that we are on the wrong track. So, slowing down is necessary, especially when we are rushing, & start to pay attention to the "weak signals", so to speak, & in a way, to be intuitively ready to ask appropriate questions.
For me, I always reckon that a "tap on the shoulder" is some sort of a warning sign to indicate that we got to make corrections or adjustments as we travel on the highway of life.
As readers are probably aware of, progress towards success is always the function of correction.]
- "be careful of getting too much data in your life, as they probably will only add more drama; go about living your life by discovering your own truths, based on your direct experiences";
[I fully concur. Nothing beats direct experiences. Be a guinea pig in your own life experiments, just like what R Buckminster Fuller had documented in his classic, 'Critical Path', & nobody can challenge you for what you have gone through.
Oftentimes, we just love to rely on having more information in our heads or spending too much time on rationalising, before we make a life decision. We forgot the power of the heart & the experience of the gut.]
- "time is the most important & yet limited resource that we can spend";
[At the end of the day, it boils down to embracing proactive self-management & putting first things first.]
- "all personal breakthroughs begin with a change in personal beliefs";
[For me, this particular axiom had impacted me the most, intellectually as well as experientially.
My habitual domain - comprising my core beliefs, unconscious rules, life values, frames of reference, habitual questions, & even emotional states - affect my decisions, my actions, the direction of my life, & therefore my ultimate destiny. But all these daily influences are just a product of my thinking - of the way my brain has constructed an internal system for evaluating & creating meaning throughout my entire life.
In reality, it's not the events that had shaped my life that determines how I feel & act, but rather, it's the way I had interpreted & evaluated my life experiences, particularly with a feeling of certainty about them.
The bottom line was: I had created my map of reality on a daily basis, based on the way I had always believed & thought.
The valuable lesson I got was that, since I had created the generalisations based on my interpretations of painful & pleasurable experiences in the first place, I now naturally have also the power to dis-create or dissociate them, just by changing the way I believe & think.
That's to say, I have the power to effect personal change. Wow!]
- "small things, which when done correctly & consistently, will create massive impact";
[This is another important axiom I had learned. Over the years, I have realised that the ultimate key to personal excellence is doing all those little things correctly & consistently, all the time, every time, so that our every action produces a quality result.
With each detail, no matter the size, lovingly attended to, & with each step in the process given complete & careful attention, the end result becomes inevitably the highest quality.
So, in the end analysis: Everything Counts!]
- "mastery requires that you constantly & consistently produce results beyond & out of the ordinary";
[This was based on the principal teachings & writings of Stewart Emery, who has often been considered as one of the founding fathers of the human potential movement.
He had suggested that the first step to mastery is the removal of everything in our environment that represents average or mediocrity.
Another interesting suggestion is to surround ourselves with friends who demand more of us than we often do.
What do you think?]
Looking back, I have probably covered a lot of ground in this post for readers' benefit.
In retrospect, I believe the name 'Money & You' is somewhat of a misnomer, although I must add that it had offered me wonderful "aha experiences" in terms of the many proven approaches &/or fast-track means to creating wealth, & breaking free of the self-imposed blockages or limitations that often kept people from living the life they so desired.
If I were to put the essence of the seminar in one simple sentence, it's all about becoming true to yourself, daring to dream, following your bliss, designing the life you want it to be, doing whatever it takes to making it happen, & living more fully.
The only unique selling factor of the 'M&Y Seminar' I can think of, on hindsight, is its systematically structured 'world experiences' as opposed to just 'word experiences' for the seminar participants.
For me, the 'world experiences' were simulated in all of the games, often tension-filled & emotionally charged up on purpose, & played by all seminar participants to the full tilt, which were actually true reflections of harsh realities in the real-world out there.
Mistakes made in the games were true learning experiences, as there were only winners & learners at the end. Best of all, we didn't have to invalidate ourselves or others.
I am well aware of the negative perceptions of the 'M&Y Seminar' in some quarters, in the light of its apparent cultic norms &/or new agey connotations, & also the not-so-good publicity & controversy surrounding Robert Kiyosaki, who has been one of the early 'M&Y Seminar' purveyors & instructors, on account of his reportedly questionable credentials.
I have one simple philosophy to follow when it comes to my learning pursuits: Absorb what's useful; reject what's useless; research my own experience, & add what's specifically my own.
Many thanks! to the legendary Bruce Lee, for sharing with me this great learning philosophy through his writings.
Also, in reality, I must say many thanks to the 3-1/2 day 'M&Y Seminar' as well as the subsequent 16-day 'Excellerated Business School' on Kona island in Hawaii, which had empowered me to pursue what I love to do with the second half of my life, starting in the early nineties till today.
